Jan
13
Two-weeks after saying goodbye
January 13, 2012 | Progress Report | 11 Comments
It’s been exactly two weeks now since Jewels crossed the bridge. Each day has gotten easier. Whether I like it or not life has to go on. I am always busy anyway between being a mom to my young boys, working and all other things people generally do in life. But adjusting to the new “normal” around the house has taken some time.
The evening after Jewels left us I slept easily at first because I was so tired and emotionally drained. But then I woke up at about 3:00am and remembered that my girl wasn’t with us anymore and started crying. I couldn’t really fall back asleep after that. I looked out the window toward the Sandia Mountains as I laid in bed grieving and noticed a really bright, beautiful star shining in the darkness just above the mountain. I don’t recall ever seeing it there before in the eight years we’ve lived in this house. I wondered if that was a message from Jewels that she is happy now and that everything was going to be okay. I haven’t seen the star shining there ever since.
Then last week I had a dream that I saw Jewels walking with four legs as she looked at me bright eyed and content. I don’t usually remember my dreams, but this part was unforgettable. Perhaps it was another message from her to comfort me in my sorrow.
I’ve managed to go a day or two in a row without crying, but still there are times when I am left to my thoughts and I think about her and the tears just start flowing heavily again. I’ve always been the “cry-baby” type, but I’m getting a little tired of my eyes hurting from the tears. At what point will I stop crying?
There are a lot of mixed feelings I am having about losing Jewels. I am glad that she is no longer suffering, but yet I am grieving so much because I miss her. This is very difficult. Jewels is the first pet I’ve had to let go like this. And even though I knew deep in my heart that this would inevitably happen from the day we adopted Jewels, nothing prepared me for how it would feel in the end.
I miss rubbing her silky ears and seeing her sweet face!